The Dark Side of the Orchestra

 Is it really this bad?

When one attends an orchestra concert, he/she sees a group of individuals all dressed in 19th century evening attire led by some guy with a short stick waving (usually) his arms in often-wild patterns which allegedly communicate his conception of the music to the assembly in front of him.  That is the average concert-goers knowledge of what happens.

The web site Cracked usually has a humorous take on issues that face our daily lives and, in fact, often prints the truth (with more than a few expletives thrown in for good measure).  Still, it is important to note, when examining the oddities of the contemporary orchestra, the following:

• Performance-enhancing drugs are rampant.  While heavy metal musicians are popping whatever comes into their hands, orchestral musicians are often seen taking prescription beta blockers.

• Playing is dangerous.  Hearing loss, carpal tunnel-like syndromes and other muscular conditions are just a few of the examples.

• Orchestras are notoriously sexist.  The Vienna Philharmonic.  Need anything more be said?

• There's no money in it.  The Philadelphia Orchestra.  Need anything more be said about that?  OK, the Syracuse Symphony, the Louisville Orchestra, etc.

• It's kind of a horrible job.  I'll let readers sort this one out for themselves.

The entire piece can be found here.  Here is fair warning that there exist more than a few f-bombs.